Gandhi
“Let the first act of every morning be to make the following resolve for the day:* I shall not fear anyone on Earth.* I shall fear only God.* I shall not bear ill will toward anyone.* I shall not submit to injustice from anyone.* I shall conquer untruth by truth. And in resisting untruth, I shall put up with all suffering.”- Mahatma Gandhi
I find the statement above empowering. What we do first thing in the morning reflects throughout the day- to say, like Gandhi that you fear no one but God, that you shall treat others well and be treated as person worthy of dignity and respect, and that you are able to sacrifice for your beliefs, is definitely to set each day on the right path, to set LIfe on the right path.
My own path has not been without its setbacks and victories. As I have talked about, my Lenten promise to give up complaining and gossip has been a roller coaster of failure and success. On St. Patrick’s Day, which is usually a big social whirl of chatting and Guinness (oh, how I do enjoy a tasty pint!), I had more failure than success, though I started out with good intentions. It’s really easy for me to get sucked into the social side of complaining, of finding fault even with people I love. It’s not something I am proud of, though it’s impossible to get a good path going when you are attacking yourself for moral foibles. Yesterday, was a great day. I didn’t complain once! I went out into the world, conducted my business, saw a friend, spent time with my family and PRAYED for guidance. The world was a better place in my eyes, and I was better in the world. From now on, I want to focus on what’s positive, act for the better when issues come up. I don’t want to walk through this world as a victim, but rather take Gandhi’s attitude of self-reliance and trust in the universe. It is a struggle but I am not giving up!!! I will make it to 21 days Complaint Free no matter how long it takes.
That’s what the purple bracelet I am wearing is all about. Feel free to ask me, feel free to join. It’s life altering to even realize how one person’s complaints bring more negativity into the Earth. It’s not necessary. Not bearing ill will towards anyone means believing the best, acting on that belief and keeping silent when challenged. If you have a disagreement with someone, talk to that person only. Venting is NOT healthy. It’s one thing to discuss feelings but another thing entirely to dwell in discontent. The dwelling is a waste of time, especially when there are better way to spent the years we have on this planet. It’s a slow process of growth for me-I’ve been at this for weeks but yesterday was my first day of complete commitment to the ideal. It was glorious. Have not succeeded completely TODAY, but I will keep on going. . .it’s the journey that counts after all. Still pursuing Contentedness.
Waiting to exhale
Two weeks passed by rather quickly. I had to finish up projects, say good byes and deal with yet another throat curse requiring antibiotics. It was good that I had the two weeks to properly leave the place, to affirm that my decision was the best one I could have made. One thing I heard over and over again was ‘good for you. I wish I could do it.’ What these folks usually mean is that they don’t feel they can leave an unhappy job situation b/c of resposibilities-a mortgage or rent, children, car payments. I, luckily, have none of those responsibilities so why stay in a situation where the start of the day was not a cause for rejoicing? But the more I think about it, the more I think no one should. Some of my former co-workers are miserable and make those around them miserable.
A perfect example to illustrate: at the company there is a Notorious Busybody who snoops through people’s things, spreads rumors, gives the evil eye and yet wears a cross round her neck. I believe the only reason that they don’t fire the woman is that she is about to retire soon and has been there since the ’60s. Last week she called me into the bathroom to say something. It was to warn me about another girl at work, who she said tells the comptroller of the company everything. I was horrified but the look on her face when I said that the girl she was maligning and I are friends was priceless. She almost DOVE into the bathroom stall.
A woman like the Notorious Busybody is pathetic. She’s hated her job for about a decade, if not longer, seems to have no life outside of work and fails to see how wearing the cross and being evil are antithetical. I think when you’re that unhappy you can’t do the same old same old everyday. I don’t care what responsibilities you claim to have- change your life, or your attitude or both. It is a useless way to spend life that way. Americans spend more time at work that most people in the world and yet, I rarely hear love for the work we do. I don’t hear pride. Something has to change in our collective mentality.
My incident with the busybody was but one interesting facet of leaving. My direct supervisor talked trash about me b/c I took a day off to be sick. Yikes. I will tell you that I had to exert total self control when I heard that. My first instinct was extreme anger. I wanted to call her up and curse that broad out. Hahahaha. But I didn’t b/c that would be so counterproductive. I calmed myself down with prayer and by playing catch with Cosette. Then I realized that hen people talk behind your back it’s about them, and not about you. The people I like at work don’t take a word she says seriously, Plus, she’s not in the best place in her life and my leaving is going to burden her with extra work so maybe she was just venting. Not nice, but. . . I should chill, not pick up the phone and just be REALLY glad I never have to see her again.
For the most part, people were extremely kind. I’ve saved emails, and cards that were encouraging and touched me. Apparently, I was liked for my efficiency, helpfulness and good cheer. I leave knowing that I did a good job. Even the boss man hugged me and wished me well. Other positives: the girl who irked me more than ANY human ever has actually apologized! I did too- I think I should have had a little more grown self-control and talked to her about the issues that we had. At the time, it was hard to have the detachment. But I will remain friends with some of my co-workers and am really excited and pleased about that.
Saying my final goodbyes was sad but like Madonna says: There’s no greater power than the power of good-bye. It’s always a little heartbreaking to end a stage of your life but choosing change is really about not giving in to fear .
Now I’m resting up b/c my Quest is beginning soon. I feel like I’m being lead by the Higher Power to a better destiny. Am processing multiple thoughts and emotions right now, but the greatest one is relief. I’m not stressed out- maybe I should be but I welcome Change.
good golly
March is one of my favorite months. There’s a hint of Spring in the air, holidays like Easter and St. Patrick’s. Now I have another reason to like March.
I resigned from my job today. Have spent weeks agonizing and crying and feeling unsure about Changing after three years but this weekend, with much prayer and dialogue with friends, I realized that the work itself is not a good fit, that my personality and what I do are in sharp conflict. My health has suffered, my sense of optimism was diminished; no amount of positive thinking and working on myself was making the job feel like a great fit. Am glad that I didn’t resign the ’smart’ way by getting a different job first. Was honest with my boss but not overly so, and I have not burned ay bridges. To be honest, these are people I like and want to remain in touch with so why go out in a blaze of glory?
Two more weeks. I’m positive that I’ll be a little sad but there’s relief on my face and in my heart. Sometimes making a decision, ANY decision, is the best way. I can’t let life happen to me, you know? But guess what? I know I made the right decision. Cheerful Anna is NOT just weekend Anna anymore. WOOHOO!
Still have no idea what I am going to DO with myself later, but I plan to take a break now. After St. Patty’s I am going to sleep in, luxuriate in some carefully chosen novels, write, travel a bit, go on mile long walks with Cosy.
I anticipate being Content.
See sleepy Cosy photo below. Doesn’t Cosy make napping look awesome?
